Associating Being Thin With Being Healthy Is Unhealthy
In our all-about-looks society, it’s a common misconception to believe that thin means healthy and less thin means unhealthy. The stigma around being less thin is obviously reflected in the insensitive and derogatory terms used to refer to people who don’t fit the set standards of what’s considered to be “normal, healthy weight.”
Since, like most people, I grew up being constantly conditioned that putting on weight was a bad thing, I’ve often made the same mistake of judging by appearances. In one particularly sad and unfortunate example, I remember telling one of my sisters-in-law who was battling breast cancer that she looked “healthy,” which really meant thin or fit, through my skewed filters. She passed away at 41 a few weeks later.
With the aid of a good friend of mine, I’ve been recently called attention to the well-known fact that this inappropriate conditioning related to associating weight with health and beauty has heavily damaging consequences. The incidence of food disorders is higher than ever before in our culture’s history, to the point that this trend is being referred to as a pandemic (please see the Eating Disorders Are on the Rise article listed under References).
The scary thing is that even very present and conscious parents are being caught by surprise, as their children are diagnosed with food disorders. This is partially due to a lack of information about the different types of food disorders, as well as the assumption that people with such disorders usually look a certain way (unhealthily skinny, for instance), don’t like to eat, or don’t eat much. The fact that this kind of diagnosis still carries stigma doesn’t help.
Looking at the stats (please see the Eating disorder statistics 2022 and Eating Disorder Statistics articles listed under References), it’s also scary how early food disorders can start in children and young adults (which is usually much earlier than they are diagnosed). No surprise about the fact that the greater incidence is in women (almost 4 to 1 in relation to men; please see the 2022 Eating Disorder Statistics: 74+ Unthinkable Facts article under References).
Parents, other family members, and friends of the diagnosed person are not the only ones who are often caught by surprise in relation to a food disorder diagnose; the person with the disorder is often quite surprised, as well. I had a personal encounter with a food disorder (possibly anorexia) when I was in my late twenties. I wasn’t aware of what was happening at the time, either. Looking back, I now have the awareness of coming fresh from Brazil to the U.S. in the mid-80’s and almost instantly buying into the skinny-is-beautiful mentality, which was not as prevalent in Brazil in those days. I remember my boyfriend at that time (who later became my first husband, then my ex) telling me that I needed to “tone up my body,” and how self-conscious I felt by his comment. I remember eating less and less until I had but the shadow of a body. I remember admiring myself in my bikini in the mirror and having my ex-husband take photos; in my warped perception, I saw myself as beautiful, rather than unhealthily skinny.
By the time I realized that something was wrong, I was having serious nutrient absorption and digestion issues; I just kept getting thinner and thinner, and I couldn’t seem to be able to stop or reverse the damage. Contrary to what some might believe, realizing that I simply could not absorb or retain much of the food I ate, no matter what I ate or how much I ate, was not a good feeling; it was actually quite frightening.
At the time, I consulted with a couple of doctors who didn’t really know what was going on and didn’t offer any helpful advice. Around the same time, my mother came from Brazil to visit and was shocked at how thin and unhealthy I looked. She gave me a much-needed wake-up call and started helping nurse me back to health. At a certain point, when things looked grim and it didn’t seem that I’d ever be able to find my way back, my mother pointed at a small potted water lily someone had given me, which I had practically killed due to over-watering. There were just a couple of dried stumps left in the pot. My mother said that the plant would become the symbol of my recovery; we’d work on nurturing the plant back to life, and as it thrived, so would I. Miraculously, that plant did recover to full health... and so did I. The water lily plant went on to outgrow its pot a few times, and I finally ended up by planting it in my backyard.
Part of the recovery process included consulting with an herbalist who put me on a long-term treatment to help rebuild my health. It took me about a year to start being able to put on weight again. I used to think that loving food too much to give it up for too long was my saving grace... Maybe that did help a bit at the time; since then, however, I’ve realized that liking food too much was a symptom of my overall unhealthy relationship with food. For Italian-Brazilians like myself, food is a religion. I took that mentality a step further and made it into an obsession. I was never a big snacker, but at meal times I used to have the bad habit of stuffing my stomach to the point where it was uncomfortably, yet satisfyingly full. I felt temporarily happier and more comfortable whenever I appeased my inner void with a very full stomach. Food became my favorite way to self-soothe, deal with stress, reward or punish myself, etc.
Because I never properly addressed the food issue itself in the past, it still comes back to haunt me every now and then. The difference is that the episodes I’ve had in the past few years weren’t deliberate; rather, my body’s auto-response was triggered by different causes beyond my control (which also made me feel out of control; that’s often part of the dynamics behind this type of disorder), such as menopause, a hip surgery that required general anesthesia, etc. I’m currently going through another severe bout that was triggered by grief, among other reasons, and have again lost a lot of weight due to improper digestion and absorption. However, I am now more aware than ever about what’s happening, so I’m actively addressing it on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level.
At gatherings with friends and family, I’m sometimes told that I’m looking great, and asked what I do to stay so thin (especially considering what a big eater I’d always been). Instead of trying to gloss over it, these days I answer: “Thin is not always healthy. I’m sick. Due to my history of food abuse and an ongoing unhealthy relationship with food, I’m paying the price (once more). I have a hiatal hernia and GERD; I have serious absorption and digestion issues, which is why I keep losing weight, no matter what I eat; I have a lot of pain, bloating, gas, hypoglycemic episodes, etc; I feel drained all the time; and I have an atrophied pancreas as a consequence of years of food abuse, among other problems. I don’t recommend going that route to lose weight and stay thin, though.” That is how such patterns can start to change; by speaking the truth about these issues.
© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 05/09/22
Photo by Jakayla Toney on Unsplash
References:
6 Common Types of Eating Disorders (and Their Symptoms)
Eating Disorders Are on the Rise
Eating disorder statistics 2022
Eating Disorder Statistics
2022 Eating Disorder Statistics: 74+ Unthinkable Facts
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