I first published the Feeling Stuck? Just Choose One Step blog article shared below in 2016, but I believe that it is even more relevant now than it was back then. As highly sensitive empaths, a lot of us are feeling lost, confused, anxious, depressed and/or angry right now… These have been very challenging healing and transformation times, and we're all being prepped for some major changes ahead. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed about it all, especially when trying to decide how to make a difference in a personally fulfilling (and financially sustainable) way... This article brings back a simple reminder: You can choose just one step to begin (or continue) your journey as a healer who’s in the process of being healed.
The Challenge (or One of Them)
We live in a time period when a lot is expected and even demanded of anyone who's on their way to awareness and “wokeness” (or trying to get there). It doesn't make any difference where on our paths we might be; we are not being cut any slack. A lot of us can't help but feeling overwhelmingly pressured to perform, to become someone many of us don't feel quite ready to be (even assuming we know for sure who we want to become or what we want to do).
Everyone and everything around are inspiring (or rather, urging) us to take major action, and immediately. Something about the fact that we don't have a lot of time left. The news. The prophets. New Age books. Movies such as An Inconvenient Truth, Fast Food Nation, Supersize Me, Sicko, etc. Everywhere you turn, it's doomsday approaching by the minute. It's do or die. Although all that information is necessary and fulfilling a vital service by educating us, one of its common side effects is that of creating a state of paranoia and panic, and freezing a lot of well-meaning but overwhelmed people into depression and inaction (not to mention that, according to the law of attraction, it can actually reinforce this very reality we want so much to change). The current political (and socio-economical) climate doesn’t help one bit.
Like so many, for a long time I had also felt that I should be doing something about it. I went through a period of confusion during which I desperately tried to figure out what, how, which, when. And, more specifically, who I had to become to participate, to contribute. "Become" being the operative word. I did not believe that I could just choose to do something, to participate, to create without becoming somebody else first. As in, becoming better; improving myself as a person. Not that I have anything against the idea that we all should put an effort into connecting with and expressing our best selves. I believe that's one of the reasons we come here: to remember who we really are, and ultimately make that choice. It's just that, in my mind, I often felt I was not even worthy of initiating any transformational process because I was not good enough. I didn't believe that if I just followed my heart, chose something I cared about and made it happen, even if it were on a small scale, I would really be making a difference. I was influenced by our modern culture, which is filled with so many amazing people doing things in the grandest possible style; therefore, I believed that, whatever changes I made, they would have to be on a much larger scale. It seemed like hard footsteps to follow. Just too much for little ol' me.
And so I read all about how to build an organic garden and do composting and save water and energy, etc, etc, etc. And then I watched movies and documentaries about the environment and felt inspired (or shamed) into doing something about it. And then I saved all the website links and their huge lists of things to do. At first, my intention was to go all out; but then, for lack of time or money or energy or simply for being lazy or feeling overwhelmed, all I managed to do in the end was to neatly organize bookmarks of informative websites for future use... and buy a few eco-friendly light bulbs.
Until I decided to stop trying to become someone I'm not, and find my own small way to help by doing something I enjoy, am good at and can have fun with: becoming a wellness practitioner, and writing articles to hopefully help break it down for other people like me.
What's Next, Then?
Here are 11 steps I suggest you consider if you’re feeling lost and confused about your studies, work, career, calling, life path, etc, and trying to figure out a way to contribute to positive change while sustainably and successfully following your bliss:
1) Chillax.* Take a deep breath, take a walk, meditate, give yourself a break.
(*This slang made up of the contraction between “chill” and “relax” used to be a thing. Then older adults started overusing it, so it’s considered lame and even archaic now; but I still like it and I think it works here. So, there.)
2) Chillax some more.
3) Realize that you are the only one who can decide what works for you. There's no wrong way or right way. There's only your way, my way, and everyone else's infinite own ways.
4) Decide to have fun in your life. This is very important: The first thing you do when you wake up is to ask to have fun and prepare to be surprised. Expect it. Believe it. Pursue it. And watch it happen. Everything else falls into place.
5) Understand that you don't have to be or become perfect (whatever your perception of perfection happens to be) to deserve that good things happen to you, and to decide to participate in this amazing shift that's happening in our world right now. In other words:
You don't “gotta” become anything.
You just gotta be.
You be, and in the being the best you can manage to be at this very moment in your life, you'll eventually find yourself and your way.
6) Whichever way it goes, it's all good. Sure, human civilization as we know it might end in this planet if we don't act quickly enough. However, there are also a lot of people out there already working to make a difference as we speak. And in the end, as my yoga teacher said, whichever way it goes it's all good. And it's certainly not going to do us any good to constantly worry about it....
7) So, go at your own pace. Your timing is just right for you. Just because your favorite guru or your next-door neighbor already became woke and found their mission, it doesn't mean you have to rush out and try to get a bigger one for yourself. I mean, the pressure to keep up!!! Just try to do what you can, without worrying if you're doing enough, or doing it quickly enough and, most importantly, without worrying about what anybody else is doing or not doing.
8) There's no such thing as missing your opportunity to do anything in life. There’s always another opportunity where that one came from.
9) Think baby steps. In the end, it's the little things, the tiny steps, the small ways that make a difference. Every single, minute action counts. You are here and now to take only one step to begin with.
10) And finally, but most importantly: enjoy yourself in the process. If you are not enjoying yourself, try something else. In the end, it's all about You. Yes, You. So, be gentle with yourself, and be merry!
11) In case you start following the steps above and get busy, tired, sick, overwhelmed, overworked, disheartened, discouraged, fed up, lazy, etc, and then give up, step # 11 is here just to remind you to give yourself a break. When you are ready again, just go back to step #1 and start over!
Choosing Your Step
Just think of something that you would like to be doing to help. Look around your home, or think about your family, friends, school, work, hobbies, community, or whatever you connect the most with. The choices are virtually limitless. If there's anything that draws your attention, some area where you feel you can make a difference, even if in very small ways, go for it! You can start by simply picking one action to follow and putting it into practice, until you feel ready to add more to your list. Try not to overwhelm yourself. Unless you do feel like choosing several things and starting to change the world right away; then, by all means, go ahead and follow your instincts. If at any point you become overwhelmed, try not to get discouraged and drop everything; instead, remember you can always cut back and/or change your choices.
C’mon, Can One Small Step Really Make A Difference?
YES!!! Think about the proverbial small pebble creating the ripple effect when tossed in the lake. Think about any other frequently used metaphor in relation to the huge power of small actions; or create your own! Whatever it takes to get you going. But take that step. And then another, and another, and another. Just try it and see.
Final Thought: Remember that even a tiny step is better than doing nothing. And don't forget to HAVE FUN!
© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 04/24/23
Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels